Be-Friend Your Foe!

When Franklin was in the Pennsylvania legislature, he was deeply disturbed by the staunch political opposition and hostility of one of the other legislators. He didn’t want to gain his favour by paying him any servile respect, so he tried another tactic. He asked this man if he could borrow a very scarce and curious book from him.

 

His opponent obliged and Franklin returned the book a week later with a note saying how much he had appreciated it. The next time the two men met in the legislature, his detractor spoke to him - which he had never done before. The dialogue continued over time and gradually a mutual respect built up, until the two eventually became great friends.

 

Could this approach be interpreted as simply breaking the ice? Psychologists say that people are strongly motivated to change their attitudes in ways that are consistent with their behaviour. Perhaps this is what was happening here.

 

You may already have a colleague or perhaps a stakeholder with whom you feel a distinct lack of rapport – or even a degree of hostility. If you find yourself in a position where you need their help but are reluctant to ask them because of this poor relationship, think again.

 

Don’t put it off – go for it! Be positive, be constructive, be friendly - this might just be the turning point which leads to a much more fruitful relationship.

 

Asking for help in this way might seem like a rather brave thing to do - but what have you got to lose? The worst that could happen would be a continued lack of communication - which is the point from which you started. At least you will know that you’ve tried. And hopefully, something good could arise because you had the courage to take the initiative…

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